Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash: Volume 2 Read online

  “Now, now.” Yume had her elbows on the table and was resting her face on her palms. “Yume thinks Yume and everyone should just go about doin’ things at their own peace.”

  “That’s pace, not peace,” Haruhiro corrected her mildly, then nodded. “Yeah. I agree with Yume, I think. I mean, once I saw him in action... I couldn’t help but think, ‘Ah, he’s just made of different stuff than we are.’ We couldn’t imitate him even if we tried, and, to be blunt, he’s not even a useful reference for us...”

  “...If we’re reckless...” Shihoru looked down, frowning as if holding something back.

  She might be remembering him. The precious comrade Haruhiro and the others had lost.

  “...If something we just can’t ever fix happens, it’d all be for nothing...”

  “You’re aiming too low!” Ranta pointed at Yume, then Haruhiro and then Shihoru, one after the other. “Just what kind of chickens are you people?! Most the time, returns come with risks, got it?! No risk is no return and no point! Low risk is low return, and if you want a high return, you’ve gotta be prepared to take the high risks!”

  Haruhiro got a bit miffed by that. “Doing things in a way that minimizes the risk and maximizes the return should be perfectly valid. In fact, we’ve been doing reasonably well that way.”

  “Reasonably, huh,” Ranta scoffed. “I’ll just come out and say it. The only thing we’ve been doing a reasonable job of is circling the drain. Do you get that? Are you aware of it? Buddy, look around a bit.”

  “Huh? Look around...?” Haruhiro looked around Sherry’s Tavern.

  Now that Ranta mentioned it, well, Haruhiro noticed that out of all the volunteer soldiers here, he and his party were clearly far and away the most shabby looking.

  It was something they couldn’t really help; their equipment was mostly secondhand, after all. And they weren’t lodging in a place where they could lock their rooms properly, so they needed to carry anything of value with them. Because of that, whether they were here in the tavern or out in Damuro, they dressed the same. Frankly, they were a little filthy.

  “You people, have you thought about it at all?” Ranta tapped his index finger on the table. “‘We’re rookies, and Renji was on another level from us to begin with, so there’s no helping it,’ is that it? Well, let me tell you something: situations change, got it?”

  Moguzo scrunched his neck in, looking at Ranta with upturned eyes. “...What do you mean, situations?”

  “From what I hear, some new people came in. The group before us was just three people. Incredibly, they still haven’t bought their badges. They were a bunch of oddballs, and no one knows what they’re off doing now. In our group, there were twelve, right? Well, this time, there’s even more, apparently. They’re all at the guilds taking the beginners’ lessons, and they should be close to finishing soon. Eventually, they’ll form parties, and they may even come to Damuro.”

  “Nothin’ wrong with that.” Yume puffed out her lips. “If lotsa people come, lotsa people come. With just Yume and everyone there, Yume worries what’ll happen if things go bad. Also, couldn’t everyone cooperate to take on larger groups of gobbies?”

  That was one way of looking at it... but—Haruhiro couldn’t take the arrival of newcomers as positively as Yume.

  Setting Merry aside for the moment, Haruhiro and his group had been volunteer soldiers for the shortest amount of time. So, it was inevitable that their party was small and weak.

  What Ranta was saying was right. Haruhiro, at least, was aware of it.

  However, that’s going to change. There will be people who came after us soon. If we keep on taking it easy, they might get ahead of us. Wouldn’t that be kind of pathetic...?

  “I think it’s best not to rush,” Merry said as if seeing through Haruhiro’s feelings.

  —Yeah... She’s right, he thought. Rushing won’t do any good. In the end, we can only do what we can do. Those who are able to skip a step or two, climbing the stairs at a quicker pace, are free to do so, but it doesn’t seem like that’s something we’re capable of. If we tried and failed, we could hope to just suffer some bruises, but the fact of the matter is that we could die.

  We should take it step by step, slowly but surely. But—Here, Haruhiro had some doubts. Are we really climbing up step by step? Maybe we’re not climbing, but marching in place...?

  “Here’s an idea.” Haruhiro couldn’t even look anyone in the eye, so he dropped his gaze to the table. “...Now, this is just an example, but we can’t keep hunting goblins forever, so we could try going to another place... I don’t think it would be a terrible idea, right? Though we don’t have to suddenly change our hunting grounds entirely. But being in the same place all the time, it becomes routine, you could say. It turns into routine work, and we may make odd mistakes because of that. I think we need stimulation, you know. It’s just an example, though.”

  “Haruhiroooo.” Ranta gave him a full-faced grin. “Buddy, once in a long while, you say good stuff. Just once in a really long while, though. Of course, I’m in favor of that plan!”

  “Well, Yume’s against it, then.”

  “Okay, I am too...” Shihoru said.

  In seeing how fast Yume and Shihoru joined the opposition, Ranta’s lack of virtue was on explosive display.

  “Muh...” Moguzo made a difficult expression, and he seemed to be deep in thought.

  What about Merry? Haruhiro couldn’t read anything from her expression or mannerisms, so he didn’t know.

  “Anyway, it wasn’t a plan...” Haruhiro said, scratching the back of his head. “Just an example, like I said. Like, this is one way of looking at it, you know? But we’ve walked to pretty much every corner of Damuro, so I think there’s the issue of what to do next.”

  “What to do next, huh?” Yume grabbed her braids and wrapped them around her neck. “So long as we’re good for today, Yume thinks that’s good enough. Is doin’ the same thing every day so bad? Lately, we don’t get into trouble no more, and we’re puttin’ away a bit of money. Yume doesn’t really have anythin’ to complain about.”

  “Do you have no drive for self-improvement?” Ranta clicked his tongue. “You aren’t even human anymore. A pig, that’s what you are. A pig.”

  “Piglets are cute, you know! But, well, piglets grow up to be pigs, and pigs, they aren’t as cute a piglets are. So, Yume thinks it’s okay if piglets stay as piglets.”

  “Huh? What are you even saying? What’re piglets suddenly entering the conversation for? I don’t get it at all.”

  “You don’t get it because you’re a dummy, Ranta. That’s not Yume’s fault.”

  “Don’t blame other people! Also, I’m not a dummy! If anyone’s a dummy here, it’s you!”

  “Dummy, dummy, dummy.”

  “Why, you!”

  “C-Cut it out, you two...” Moguzo tried to stop them, but it was a pretty reserved attempt, so it didn’t have much effect.

  Haruhiro brought the wooden mug to his lips for a sip of lemonade. Am I rushing things? I can’t deny it. Of course I am. Team Renji is on such a different level, I don’t even feel like trying to catch up. Or, rather, I could never feel like catching up. I won’t ask to be like them, but if you ask me whether we’re okay the way we are now, well... I wonder about that. If new people come along and then they get ahead of us, I don’t think I’d be fine with that. It would probably eat at me a little. Or maybe a lot.

  But I get what Yume is saying, as well.

  What is our goal? Realistically, it’s to keep ourselves alive for now. To carry on with our lives. To live as well as we can.

  Now that we’ve bought our badges, we can use the lodging house free of charge. It’s run-down, but being able to sleep in a place that keeps us out of the rain is a big deal. If we choose where we eat carefully, we can keep the cost of eating down, too. If we have to cut back, there are any number of ways we can do so. But that’s stifling. I want to stay in better lodgings. If I could rent a room wit
h a lock on a ten-day or monthly basis, that would be so wonderful. Then I’d have a place I could feel safe about leaving my stuff. I’d even be able to have more personal belongings.

  If we keep going to Damuro like this and save up, we can probably reach those sorts of goals eventually. There’s no need to push ourselves. What would we do if we overextend ourselves and something awful happens?

  We might die.

  No.

  Not might.

  We actually will die.

  —Manato.

  I don’t want to let anyone else die. I don’t want a repeat of what happened to Manato. We need to be cautious.

  That said, are we really fine as we are? When I think about it, ever since we bought our badges, we haven’t learned new spells and skills or bought better weapons and armor, we’ve just been aimlessly going to and from Damuro.

  We successfully avenged Manato, slaying the armored goblin and the hobgoblin. After that, we bought badges and gave one as an offering at Manato’s grave.

  When there was a clear goal, we had drive. There was a sense of tension, a drive to improve ourselves, like Ranta was talking about. We had to become stronger, learn to fight better, otherwise we thought we’d never avenge him. Now, those days are over.

  Mission complete.

  Is that what it’s like, and now everyone’s lost their edge because of it? Can I say for sure that that isn’t the case?

  Maybe preserving the status quo is fine. It’s just, if we think preserving the status quo is simple, that it’s the easy way, couldn’t that trip us up eventually?

  “...Um, don’t you think it’s about time we head back?” Shihoru said hesitantly and, since there were no objections, that was what they ended up doing.

  Merry parted with the group when they left Sherry’s Tavern.

  When the remaining five were on their way back to their lodgings, Haruhiro suddenly stopped. “—Ah. You guys head back without me. I’ve got a little something to do...”

  “A little something?” Yume blinked repeatedly. “What’s a little something?”

  “Um... Uh, the washroom! I want to hit the washroom. I don’t think I can hold it until we get back. That’s why...”

  Ranta snorted. “What, you need to piss? Just whip it out and do your business wherever, then. We’ll wait for you.”

  Why was it only times like this that Ranta showed off a conscientious side everyone knew he didn’t have? It was probably unintentional, but Ranta’s annoyingness was too much for him to handle.

  “I’m not standing outside to piss,” Haruhiro said. “I’ll find a shop somewhere and borrow their washroom.”

  “Hmph. There you go acting all refined.”

  Sending Ranta who infuriated him and the other three who had done no wrong on ahead, Haruhiro turned back the way they had come.

  When he headed back to Sherry’s Tavern and looked around, he found Merry sitting at the end of the counter. The truth was, when he had turned around shortly after they’d parted, he had thought he’d seen Merry entering the tavern.

  Haruhiro approached Merry and pointed to the seat next to her. “Merry. Is it okay? Do you mind if I sit here?”

  Merry looked somewhat surprised, but she nodded. “I... don’t mind, but weren’t you going home?”

  “Weren’t you, Merry?” Haruhiro sat next to Merry, giving her a slight smile. “What’s that you’re drinking there? Something alcoholic?”

  Merry looked down in embarrassment, pulling her porcelain mug in closer to herself. “Mead. I thought I’d go for one more round.”

  “Mead... that’s alcohol made from honey, right? Maybe I’ll have some of that, too.”

  Once Haruhiro paid one of the waitresses and ordered mead, he suddenly found himself unable to speak.

  I did come here looking for Merry. And, yes, Merry’s here, but... I have something to talk to her about, something I want to ask for her advice on. I meant to ask Merry for advice with this, but it’s something that’s hard to talk about with everyone here. Even without everyone here, it’s still hard to talk about it.

  The waitress brought him his drink. It wasn’t honey-colored. Perhaps there was something added to it, because it had a slight red tinge. Haruhiro took a sip. It was sweet, with just a little bit of sourness.

  “They add raspberry syrup, I hear,” Merry explained.

  “Ah, so that’s it,” he said. “That sounds like what I was tasting. It’s good.”

  “What’s up?”

  “Yeah...”

  In the end, he couldn’t broach the topic by himself. I’m hopeless, Haruhiro thought. I can’t keep being like this.

  “Merry, you’ve been in a lot of parties before now, right? So, I had something I wanted to ask. Ah...”

  Merry had a difficult expression on her face. That was what it looked like.

  I messed up, Haruhiro realized.

  Merry hadn’t let go of her past; there was no sign of the positive person who was always smiling who she had once been. But even so, she was doing her best as a member of Haruhiro’s party. If she didn’t want to remember the past anymore, it wouldn’t be strange at all for her to feel that way.

  I shouldn’t have brought that up.

  Merry, however, gave a slight nod. “Don’t worry about me. It’s fine.”

  “...You sure? If you’re forcing yourself, well, that’s not good... so, I’d rather you didn’t. Uh, wait, I’m the one who brought it up, so it’s weird for me to be saying that.”

  “What is it you want to ask?” Merry’s expression was a little stiff. Or maybe it just looked that way. Maybe Haruhiro was overthinking things. But if he stopped here, that would be awkward in and of itself.

  “I was wondering, what do you think of our party? Like, what we’re capable of. No, to go a bit further, what do you think of what I do?”

  “What about you, Haru?”

  “Well, it’s weird for me to say this, but you know, I’m the leader, or something like that?”

  “Something like that? Aren’t you the leader?”

  “...Maybe I am the leader. Have I been acting leader-y enough?”

  Merry lowered her eyes, thinking for a moment before opening her mouth. “From what I’ve seen, I think leaders can be broadly divided into two types.”

  “What are those two types?”

  “The dictator type and the chairman type. I just came up with the names, so don’t think too much about them.”

  “Right. The dictator type... They’re like, ‘I am strong,’ and they pull everyone along with them. Something like that?”

  “Yeah. With that type, they tend to be strong personalities, with the ability to force other people to obey them with no room for objection. The party fundamentally does whatever they want. Anyone who goes against them is punished, or expelled, so people who are dissatisfied can’t stay in that party for long.”

  Renji’s that type of leader, Haruhiro thought. Though, I’m pretty sure no one would ever go against Renji.

  “The chairman type isn’t like that, they’re... What? The type that irons out differences?” he asked.

  “Yes. Because they’re likable or good at speaking, they’re the type that’s good at bringing everyone around to the same point of view. With this type, they don’t necessarily have to be strong. Sometimes, they almost seem like they’re there just for show. Like, people may wonder why that person is the leader at first glance. However, even when there’s conflict within the party, it often gets neatly resolved thanks to that person.”

  “I see. The dictator and the chairman. Hmm. I’m...”

  Definitely not the dictator type. Then am I the chairman type? But I’m not especially well-liked, and I’m not a very good talker. You couldn’t call me unique, I’m not strong-willed, and I don’t have the power to make others submit, either. I’m missing everything I need to be a dictator, so if I’m going to aspire to one, it should be the chairman. I guess that’s about the sum of it.

  What was it
like for Manato, I wonder? It was clear he was at the top of the party. Even so, he never tried to force us to follow him. We all just listened to what Manato said, naturally letting him guide us.

  “...Is there something in between the dictator and chairman?” he asked.

  “I told you I was dividing them broadly. These aren’t meant to be narrow categories. While one leader may be the archetypical dictator, another leader may have elements of both the dictator and chairman, deciding which to use depending on the situation.”

  “Basically, everyone’s different, is that it?”

  “Right. Sorry if that wasn’t of much use to you.”

  “No, that’s not true. If we’re talking about types, I’d be the chairman, right? If I had to be one of the two.”

  “That’s what I think.”

  “Hmm...” Haruhiro looked up to the ceiling. “Well, as a chairman, you know, I wish people would assert themselves more. Like, I want to do this, or I want to do that. Or like, I think we should do this. I mean, in our group, the only one who’s clear about that stuff is Ranta. The rest of us, myself included, are passive, you could say. We’re the type who easily go with the flow.”

  “Do you feel lost?” she asked.

  “I wouldn’t say I don’t feel lost, I guess. Ahh. See, I tend to be vague, like just now.”

  Merry’s lips loosened just a little.

  You know, Haruhiro thought with renewed admiration, Merry sure is beautiful.

  And here Haruhiro was, alone together with her.

  When I think about it too much, it makes me feel weird. It’s uncomfortable. Is it really okay for me to be here? I start to think it’s not appropriate for me to be with her.

  “...like ‘no one invited you,’ maybe?” he murmured.

  “Did you say something?” Merry asked.

  “Huh? Did you hear something? Maybe you just imagined it...?” Haruhiro put on a fake smile. Whoops, what I was thinking slipped out. I really don’t have it together. I need to be more steady. As the leader of the party, I need to shape up.

  Not that I want to do it.

  It’s not like I’m the leader because I wanted to be. I’m just doing it because I had no choice.